The sacrifices of God
are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart,
a broken and a contrite heart,
O God, thou wilt not despise.
Psalm 51:17
Psalm 51:17
It hurt me, the teacher, to mark 9 errors on his paper. He was absolutely certain he was going to get a 100%. It wasn’t just any old 100% either; it was the crucial one. If he made a 100% on this exercise, then he could jump up one level of reading cards.
Our criteria, you see, was three 100%’s consecutively. Accomplish that great feat and one could avoid doing all 20 reading cards… and jump to the next highest level! Conversely, if a student made lower than a 70 % ,he had to return to the lower level next to the one from which he came. Needless to say, only a few had done this, to their shame, and no-one wanted to be a shirker due to this.
The beauty of this system was that the teacher did not have to crack the whip; the students’ own self-esteem (pride?) did it for her.
So, here was the dilemma. One of the hardest working students struggled with his reading passage… and failed… after getting two 100% in a row. I knew for his own good he had to go back. I knew he also wanted so badly for me to set aside the standards “just this once, for me, your dear student who works so hard.” It hurt me to enforce the rule: go back to the lower level and re-work those skills.
I saw the utter pain in his eyes and disgust at his own failure. I saw the years of “I’ll never get this skill” crop up in his eyes once again… a look I had taken months to dissolve.
How I wanted to break the rules so he wouldn’t be discouraged and quit trying ! Yes, I was there to help him through his difficulties, but he had to engage his own mind and make himself focus on the task at hand. I simply couldn’t do that part for him; he had to do it himself.
As I ached in pain and blinked back the tears, we erased his name from that higher level on the reading chart. I prayed that self-disgust and self-defeat would not overwhelm this dear student. He and I both knew he had come a long, long way. I prayed that he would not stop trying.
But as my heart ached, I became aware of another Presence in the room. It was The LORD Himself. HE+ was present and it was His+ eyes that filled with tears… tears of compassion for me, for the Brethren, for the whole human race. His+ Presence is there at our defeats.
We Christians so quickly revert to self-disgust when we fail His+ “lessons”. Immediately we are daunted and discouraged and filled with defeat. We have the pain of years of defeat and struggle in our eyes, too, just like this precious student. Rejection and even self-loathing oftentimes enter in until depression threatens to overwhelm us. Nobody cares.
Yet, there stands The LORD by our side. HE+ cares. HE+ carries. His+ hand is not shortened that HE+ cannot save.
At times of our greatest defeats, we must JERK OUR MINDS away from Self and FORCE OUR THOUGHTS to be on HIM+. Let us force ourselves to realize WHO+ IS IN CONTROL of our lives… and WHO+ is in control of every detail of every situation.
Nothing is too difficult for HIM+.
HE+ made the Heavens and the earth.
Our criteria, you see, was three 100%’s consecutively. Accomplish that great feat and one could avoid doing all 20 reading cards… and jump to the next highest level! Conversely, if a student made lower than a 70 % ,he had to return to the lower level next to the one from which he came. Needless to say, only a few had done this, to their shame, and no-one wanted to be a shirker due to this.
The beauty of this system was that the teacher did not have to crack the whip; the students’ own self-esteem (pride?) did it for her.
So, here was the dilemma. One of the hardest working students struggled with his reading passage… and failed… after getting two 100% in a row. I knew for his own good he had to go back. I knew he also wanted so badly for me to set aside the standards “just this once, for me, your dear student who works so hard.” It hurt me to enforce the rule: go back to the lower level and re-work those skills.
I saw the utter pain in his eyes and disgust at his own failure. I saw the years of “I’ll never get this skill” crop up in his eyes once again… a look I had taken months to dissolve.
How I wanted to break the rules so he wouldn’t be discouraged and quit trying ! Yes, I was there to help him through his difficulties, but he had to engage his own mind and make himself focus on the task at hand. I simply couldn’t do that part for him; he had to do it himself.
As I ached in pain and blinked back the tears, we erased his name from that higher level on the reading chart. I prayed that self-disgust and self-defeat would not overwhelm this dear student. He and I both knew he had come a long, long way. I prayed that he would not stop trying.
But as my heart ached, I became aware of another Presence in the room. It was The LORD Himself. HE+ was present and it was His+ eyes that filled with tears… tears of compassion for me, for the Brethren, for the whole human race. His+ Presence is there at our defeats.
We Christians so quickly revert to self-disgust when we fail His+ “lessons”. Immediately we are daunted and discouraged and filled with defeat. We have the pain of years of defeat and struggle in our eyes, too, just like this precious student. Rejection and even self-loathing oftentimes enter in until depression threatens to overwhelm us. Nobody cares.
Yet, there stands The LORD by our side. HE+ cares. HE+ carries. His+ hand is not shortened that HE+ cannot save.
At times of our greatest defeats, we must JERK OUR MINDS away from Self and FORCE OUR THOUGHTS to be on HIM+. Let us force ourselves to realize WHO+ IS IN CONTROL of our lives… and WHO+ is in control of every detail of every situation.
Nothing is too difficult for HIM+.
HE+ made the Heavens and the earth.
Let us attribute power to WHOM+ power is due; let us attribute sovereignty unto WHOM+ sovereignty is due. Let us realize WHOSE+ servants we really are. Let us yield not only our wills but also our great defeats unto The LORD JESUS CHRIST. Surely, the fish and the bread had to be broken into pieces before they could feed thousands… in the Master’s hands.
Gracious Heavenly Father, I put myself back into Your hands. I repent for being so discouraged when I am defeated. Help me to look to You and lay these defeats before You. Grant that I may look boldly through these struggles and not let them mar my vision of You. Correct my ways, my errors. Shield me from the lying torments of self-disgust and self-rejection.
Help me to yield ever more of my heart, my time, my thoughts unto You, the FATHER of Light, so that I may become more single of eye. Let my whole being be so filled with the Light of Your Love and the power of Your Spirit that I may never lose sight of Your purpose for my life.
I pray these things to You, O Gracious FATHER, in the Name of Your Son JESUS CHRIST, through the power of your HOLY SPIRIT. Amen
Gracious Heavenly Father, I put myself back into Your hands. I repent for being so discouraged when I am defeated. Help me to look to You and lay these defeats before You. Grant that I may look boldly through these struggles and not let them mar my vision of You. Correct my ways, my errors. Shield me from the lying torments of self-disgust and self-rejection.
Help me to yield ever more of my heart, my time, my thoughts unto You, the FATHER of Light, so that I may become more single of eye. Let my whole being be so filled with the Light of Your Love and the power of Your Spirit that I may never lose sight of Your purpose for my life.
I pray these things to You, O Gracious FATHER, in the Name of Your Son JESUS CHRIST, through the power of your HOLY SPIRIT. Amen
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